Eternity as a Family

This weekend was packed full of journal entry/blog fodder experiences, let us share some of them with you.

Saturday morning we attended the LDS Temple here in Manila with six other ward members that I had previously taught the ‘Temple Preparation’ classes to during Sunday school. It was a special experience to watch them grow over the 7 week course and see how they were preparing themselves to live as Heavenly Father would want them to live. Seeing them all in the Temple with bright, happy faces ready to learn was even more rewarding.

Two of the six were a married couple and they were able to have all six of their children, ages 16-6months, come into the temple too and they were sealed for eternity. I had to take a few deep breaths and blink rapidly because I could not help a tear falling in gratitude for the knowledge that we can be families forever. It was tender to watch this young family, all dressed in white, together holding hands as they were sealed. The three year old was especially excited to make sure that everyone was there and was holding each other’s hand.

Afterwards he came and sat on my lap and said, “Brother Dust, Maganda dito (it is beautiful here).”  And truly it was beautiful in so many ways-- Beautiful building, beautiful family and friends, and most of all a beautiful feeling of the Spirit. I am thankful I was able to join in. Then he noticed the large mirror on the wall and deserted me to jump up and down waving at himself with excitement.

Lady Hiva and I rushed home, ate something then were off to the Chapel. My calling at church is to be over all the young men from 5 different congregations and we were having an activity for them. I again was touched to see these young men and how they too are striving to live gospel principles and values when so many things they see everyday suggest living otherwise may be more fun.

I admire their strength to be examples, to stand up for what is right at all times. We played a short game of trivia/chutes and ladders that Lady Hiva and I made up. They had to answer questions to move forward and if they landed on a space where they had to draw they moved forward or backwards depending on the slip they drew. (hopefully they learned something from the trivia questions in the process)

Sunday Lady Hiva and I were able to go out and visit people in the Pasay area. It was fun to come home and compare stories with each other about our day. We completely enjoyed really seeing how life in the Philippines (well the Manila part of it anyway) really is.

It was a packed weekend, but so many memories and special moments.

Creative Recycling to Survive

Wednesday afternoon found me in a van full of newspapers and magazines driving to one of the poorest areas in the city. As we drove from work to Smokey Mountain, buildings changed from massive clean, solid structures, to small dreary shanties made up of a hodgepodge of used materials that looked like they would all blow over if a strong wind picked up. I watched the people going about their daily activities, washing clothes in a large tub, selling bananas, resting in the shade after a long laborious day, carting building materials or chasing children. Life is so different.

Inspired by my last trip to Smokey Mountain—a community of people that live on the old trash pile that is literally a mountain—I proposed to the United States Embassy Club (USEC) that we do a magazine and newspaper drive to donate to Gawad Kalinga, one of the large charities out at Smokey Mountain.

 

Part of Smokey Mountain...that is years and years of trash...

Gawad Kalinga has projects all over the Philippines. They do work similar to what Habitat for Humanity does in the United States. Out at Smokey Mountain they are especially effective. Smokey Mountain gets its name from the smoky smell. Once trash is dumped from the very crowded city of Manila, people sort through it to find anything of value: food, metal, plastic, etc. The rest is burned. There is a large community build on the area. Being a developing country, there are many poor socio-economic areas in  Manila, but Smokey Mountain is one of the poorest.

Families do not make enough money collecting and recycling garbage that they find and need to supplement their incomes to survive—or they have to go without. This is where Gawad Kalinga comes in. The charity has a few buildings on Smokey Mountain. One large building is an afterschool day care where volunteers care for over 800 children who would normally be home alone after school while parents work. One of the other buildings just recently donated and finished by JCI Manila is a pharmacy and doctors office, where medical professionals come out and donate time and resources to people that need it but simply cannot afford it.

One of the projects that Gawad Kalinga has is a form of what I want to call creative recycling. Scraps of clothing are donated and women spend hours at sewing machines making hot pads, mats, and other cloth projects that are then sold on the streets to passing cars. They even showed us new baseball uniforms they had made for their prized, tournament winning team, all out of donated materials.

They take tarpaulin signs and empty juice bags (like Capri-sun) and cut them up and make stylish bags. They use magazines and newspapers to make jewelry, baskets, lamps, origami animals, and many other gifts. These are then sold all over the city. Gawad Kalinga gives a portion  of the proceeds to the loving mother that created the project so she can buy food or clothing for her children. Then they use the remaining money to buy more medicine or school supplies for the community. Gawad Kalinga refers to it as a “sustainable program” because it is helping people provide for themselves.

Some of the jewelry made out of magazines and newspapers

Newspaper beads

For one month colleagues at work collected and donated all their newspapers, magazines and wrapping paper to donate to Gawad Kalinga’s project. We literally filled a large industrial sized van with paper products—packed full with no seats inside either! As we arrived people from all over the community came to help us unload the magazines and newspapers. One of them commented, “This will last us a whole year!” The children even came to help and in return they wanted to have their picture taken or to keep the glossy toy advertisement section of the newspaper to look at.

After unloading all the magazines we were given a tour of where they make all of the crafts and their little store that displays what they sell.

One thing that hit me over and over is how happy everyone was. Yes, they literally live in a dump and have to work tirelessly to have food on the table each night, but they were happy; happy to share with us, happy to talk with us, happy to laugh with friends and family. Driving back to work in the City I watched the people again who were sorting through piles of trash trying to discover that “perfect find” before someone else did and I was reminded how blessed I was. I was also humbled again to realize many of my ‘needs’ are not really needs at all. I have enough and to spare…something to keep in mind.

A Long Way to See the Big Picture

This week we were reminded us how many good people we are surrounded by each day. Yes, we all have our struggles and weaknesses, but for the most part we are all just muddling through life trying to dot the best we can. It is humbling to remember that none of us are perfect, so judging the person’s reaction without knowing what wounds they are hiding from the world.

This is something that I continually have to work on. A snap judgment, annoyance, or impatience seems to come so easily. But once in awhile I get those simple reminders to see the ‘big’ picture and not get caught in my myopic vision of one annoying situation. There were a few times this week those ‘reminders’ hit me hard enough I had to pause and reassess my reactions.

Earlier in the week, I was interviewing at work. These interviews are quick but they drill down to the details of people’s lives that normally we do not share with our families, let alone a stranger. I was asking one guy why there was a gap in his employment and he answered, “Family problems, Sir.” Here is when my snap judgment and annoyance started, if I could have rolled my eyes and exhaled in frustration and still been professional I would have—instead I just exhaled in my mind. You see, this answer is not uncommon. Most people use it to hide some other fact or truth because they figure you will not keep asking. I was sure that was what this man was doing so I said, maybe a bit too briskly, “And what KIND of problem?” He hesitated and blinked his eyes and stuttered for a few seconds—my snap judgment again thinking he is going to lie so I silently watched him ready to pounce when he did lie.

He finally replied, “Sir, I had to leave my job because my wife was giving all the pay check to her boyfriend and when she knew I was coming home she ran off with him and left me with the kids. I have not been able to work because I am now raising the kids by myself.” My heart broke. His story was sad, but that is not the whole reason my heart broke. It was because although I have set numerous goals, including a New Year’s Resolution to be less prone to get annoyed at people’s mistakes, I had failed. Failed big time. I was sure he had been lying when, in reality, he was just trying hard to keep swimming fast enough to keep himself and his kids afloat.

Another experience this week: Today marks the three year anniversary of our daughter, Alli’s birth and passing. Later this year we will observe the anniversaries of our daughter, Annie’s, and son, Vaitafe’s births and passing too. We have a small burial site with all three of our children’s name on the headstone. We visit it when we go back to Hawaii and in the meantime we rely on family members to keep it clean and visit once in awhile. They are so willing to do it and it means more to us than we could ever express.

I got an email this week from our friends Joseph and Shauna, who were back in Hawaii on holiday and they had decided to go visit the grave site and sent us a photo of them there. It was so touching to think that on their holiday, with all the things they could have been doing, they thought of us and decided to visit the gravesite of our children.

I cannot get this to rotate...Lame. It looks correct everywhere  until here then it goes sideways again.

Again, I had to pause to realize how blessed we are to be around such wonderful people and evaluate if I am the kind of friend/family member that others are to me. How often do I go on holiday and visit a place that is does not mean something to me necessarily, but it means something to a friend? How many times to I brush off the thought to visit a neighbor or call a friend? Or neglect to compliment someone when they deserve it? Or show gratitude for service that someone rendered in my behalf? What Shauna and Joseph did was a tremendous gift. Simple, yet in perfect timing and full of love.

So this week has been a refreshing reminder to see the good in people. I try to be, and for the most part can be, patient and not be annoyed, but obviously still have a LONG way to go. (I still mutter under my breath at the slow person walking in front of me when I am in a hurry, or yell at the car that just cut me off, and have to calm my blood pressure when a customer service agent tells me to “just wait for a minute” for the tenth time. Yes, I still need to work on my goal, it may be a New Year’s resolution for several years coming!)

I am thankful, as I have said many times, for the people in my life—the stranger, the friend, the family member, the colleague—that are willing to see the big picture and be an example of the person I want to become someday.