Becoming Santa...

I was asked to help out with the work Christmas party. I like Christmas and I like to help so I said “SURE!” Maybe I said it with too much UMPH because before I knew it, I was signed up to be Santa during the opening scene! YIKES…

To quote my colleague that sits in the next cubicle over when I told him, “They picked you? You’re too skinny and don’t even have a beard!” Yeah, I know. So as Lady Hiva and I were out shopping all week we looked for a wig and some sort of Santa costume. Sadly, there was none to be found. There is something I NEVER thought I would say that I said as we looked: Where is that store who’s name starts with Wal and ends in Mart (I cannot bear to say the name haha) when you need it?…When I say something like that you know we are in dire straits! (read previous posts about my Wal-martitis so you understand)  

So after a week of looking I decided that it was time to put creativity to work. I bought some cotton rolls for 17 Php (50 cents USD) and dug out a red jumper (hoody, as my family from Utah always reminds me they are called) from the closet, and some of Lady Hiva’s red sweats. I went to work. I made a beard, fake boots, and a Santa-like jacket with paper, glue and some straight pins. I was proud of my work so I tried it on and showed Hiva. She started to giggle and told me, “that is the most ghetto Santa costume I have ever seen!” BRRRMP. Fail. When she saw that Santa’s twinkle vanished and was near tears she added, “you just need to make the beard fluffier and then it will look good.” Nice try with the disclaimer…ghetto or not, here I come!

The next day I went over and got ready just before everyone else came. I was the first act and needed to be ready. Of course, it started late so I had to stand, I was so stuffed with pillows I could not sit, right  in front of the A/C to keep myself from getting claustrophobia! I had given my camera to some coworkers so they could get photos of my as Santa (Lady was at work), if I thought I was missing anything while standing next to the A/C I was wrong. There was a photo trail of them all getting ready for the event, walking over, the people they passed...I felt like I was there! Finally the time came. I put on my game face, “Ho, ho ho, Merry Christmas-ed” into the room and the show started!  There was so much cotton stuck in my mouth by the time I got to the microphone at the front of the room I had to dig a “hair ball” out before I could talk! HAHAHA, so much for a fluffier beard, Lady!

The Red carpet photo area before entering the event

The planned “10 minute” show turned into 35 minutes. It was so blasted hot, my padded body was sweating. My jolly Ho, ho, ho-ing because less jolly as it went. I was SO happy when, by chance, my bosses boss cut the show short and told me, I mean Santa, that he could go. I took to cue and literally ran. My boss, who planned this whole thing and even wrote a script (yeah he was really into it) said, “Santa we have more!” I thought, yes we do, two pages more…I am out-a-here! So with an announcement that I was returning to the North Pole because I was melting (literally) I exited the room.

Me running out of the room!

With a quick change into regular cloths I was back out this time as an MC with two colleagues for the rest of the show. Each unit in the office performed a routine. We had a dance from Greece performed, three guys dancing as women, the tango, a drill team that was actually really great and won a standing ovation when they were finished, a whitty carol about working in our office, and some carolers without music (they actually sounded really good, I was impressed). It was fun to see everyone perform—I am not sure when they had time to practice but it looked good.

The Judges

Singing the solo SOUL song

The crowd goes wild after the Drill team finishes

The judges deliberate

We also had some games. One was a square full of people where they had to tie a balloon to their legs and pop everyone else’s without getting theirs popped; A fun game where the instructions actually include the words “no pushing, shoving, hitting, or grabbing each other. Only kicking. HA! (Children, these people are professionals, please DO NOT try this at home).



Being a statue in that position is not easy



We had an eating contest with 9 people: 3 eating cake, 3 eating Balut (duck egg with an actual fetus inside, a Filipino delicacy), and 3 eating chicken feet. There were for sure some laughs, and a lot of gagging, about that! While the judges debated which group won of the performances, we heard two fellow coworkers sing a duet. It is amazing to see what talents we miss in the people we see every single day.

It was a fun day. Good to spend time with colleagues in a different setting then the office, even if I was dressed up as Santa to do it.