June 28, 2013

Goodbye Once More, This Time to Aleki




Today, Aleki joined his five siblings and left us after only a short stay in our family. It is hard to write this post, but so many of you have been so loving, supportive and kind we wanted to make sure that you all knew.

In Virginia, a birth mother has 10 days after giving birth to change her mind about placing her baby for adoption. For Aleki that date was today. Last night, about 2100h we received a call from the social worker that said the birth mother had changed her mind and that they would have to come pick up Aleki today at noon.

I cannot begin to tell you the rush of emotions that heaped on Lady Hiva and I. It felt like some sort of horrible nightmare. Deep down I hoped and prayed she would change her mind—again. She hadn’t even wanted to see him after he was born and now she was taking him back.

We spent the few precious hours we had left with Aleki, loving him, reading to him and taking turns holding him. We read him books, something that he loves, kissed his cheeks and told him how much we will miss him.

It was the all too familiar feeling of knowing you were losing your baby and you couldn’t do anything about it. All you can do is love the moments that you have. Since Aleki came to our family, there was a peaceful reverence in our home, last night that reverence shifted to a sad solemnness.

We stayed up holding him, unwilling to miss any time together. When we finally did sleep we put him in our bed with us and Lady curled up on one side and I curled up on the other.

Today we watched the dreadful clock as it crept to show noon. We gave Aleki one last bath and put on a fresh set of clothes.  Then we sat as a family, as close as we could get, and we read stories and sang and waited.

Kissing him one last time as the social worker took him was hard. Watching him walk out the door was even harder. We spent the next few hours filling our once again baby-less home with tears and memories.

We don’t know what the future holds. Nor do we know why this occurred. Hopefully we will understand some day. For now, we will mourn the loss of Aleki and look forward to Tau’aho’s arrival. Hopefully we will take our track record from 0 for 6 to 1 for 7 next month.

--We love you, Aleki. We will miss holding you close enough to smell your fresh skin and listening to you gurgle and coo as you sleep. We will miss your wiggly fingers and toes and how mad you would get when we changed your diaper. Most of all, we will miss the joy you brought into our home during the time we were lucky to be called your parents. Like your siblings, you have a special place in our hearts and we will pray for you each day, our little Sweetheart--

18 comments:

  1. Hiva and Dustin, we are so sorry to hear this. We'll be praying for you and are always right upstairs if you need anything.

    Erica and David

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  2. We LOVE you and him and he will always be in our prayers.

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  3. We are so Sorry. You are in our prayers. He is so beautiful and will always feel your love that you gave him.

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  4. I can not believe this. I cried in my meeting when I saw it and felt horrible. At that point I looked to the future and realized a calming as I thought of your little bundle about to arrive. You will be a family of three here soon.:)

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  5. Our hearts are breaking for you. Much love and many prayers going your way!

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  7. The title of this post makes me cry every time I looked at it. I am sorry to hear this, but I am sure there is a purpose to this. You will be blessed with greater joy!!!

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  8. We love you, Dustin and Hiva.

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  9. I am so so sorry Dustin and Hiva. We love you and our heart breaks for you both. Many prayers are coming your way.

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  10. Oh, Dustin and Hiva, I am so, so sorry. So much love to you guys. You're such wonderful people, and Aleki was blessed to have you in his life even for such a short period.

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  11. This is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry.

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  12. Your positiveness is an inspiration to me every time i read anything you write! i am humbled and hope i can always look forward with hope and faith the way you two amazing people do!! much love...

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  13. This was a hard post to read.. I knew it would make me cry just by the title. I'm so sorry this happened. Love and prayers to you and your family. Your faith and positive attitude truly is an inspiration. You guys are amazing.

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  14. Sorry to hear the news, I can't imagine going through everything you guys have. We are praying for you all

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  15. I can't read your blog without crying. Tears of Joy and tears of sorrow. Your precious Aleki with forever praise your names for the love and tender mercies you gave him his first few days of his earthly experience. Because of you he will know what Christ's love feels like and will be a beacon of love to those around him. I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak and loss you must be going through. I cry in sympathy and pray for your joy to be overflowing soon. We (the Roemhildt family) love and admire your family. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

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  16. I can not tell you how sorry I am that this is happening to your family. You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.

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  17. This brought tears to my eyes but God is good. God can turn mourning into dancing. Looking forward to baby Taua ho's (sorry if I misspelled his name) coming.

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