Check Your Spots, People!

This is the story of how I found out I have cancer. 

*gasp* (laugh) *stare distantly pondering for a moment* (smile) then *take a deep breath and face this thing head on*

Laughter really is the best medicine. Lady Hiva and I learned long ago, what is hard is hard...most of the time you can change it. But you can find the good, the mercy, and the peace that buoys during the chaos and crazy. In that vein last week I told Lady Hiva if this wasn't so serious, it is quite comical how I found out I had cancer. Kind of.

Now, I know some of you will have some questions raging right now...and I hope I can answer them. I am not sure I even have all of them myself. But I write these blogs for a few reasons...first as a memory to look back on and second to allow others to join the journey. While at times with things like this I want to just pull back and "figure it out" (as my two Muggles say quoting Yo Samo) but with all we have gone through maybe those who love us want to be part of the journey too. 

Now to the story...at least the beginning. I was born with bleach blond hair and the blue eyes and fair skin that accompanies it. I loved that growing up I would tan really well and my hair would go white from the sun. I have always liked the feeling of sun soaking into my skin. I have always worked on the farm with no shirt, mowed the lawn with no shirt, run with no shirt, and spend hours at the beach soaking up those delicious sun rays.  

Over the years they have checked my freckles and removed two moles (one chest, one back) none of them were of concern. Two years ago a dermatologist told me I was too young to have sun spots on my head and that I needed to wear a hat. 

I decided that if I was going to wear a hat, I was going to make a statement and now have a collection of amazing hats! 

I noticed in the spring I had a spot on the end of my nose that looked like a red blemish. It never went away. Sometimes it would scab over and bleed, other times it would just be a red wine colored spot. I watched it for several months and one day I felt an urgency that I should get it checked. 

I went into the Consulate doctor who took one look at it and sent me the next day to a dermatologist. That dermatologist wanted to take a biopsy...but this is right at the end of my nose. Vanity had me requesting to postpone a week until after the Marine Ball (see previous post). 

During that week, I had two big work events that I was on the planning committee for and the emcee. One was a series of events to keep on time and the other had over 300 people. The day after one event and the morning of the second I found out I had shingles! Yikes! That has been a painful experience. (For the record, I would not recommend them). So I put on a smile, took some ibuprofen (which I never do) and went up on stage. 

They took off a biopsy on the end of my nose. I was there in the small clinic on the 4th floor of an old building above the burger joint with my shoes off (you cannot wear shoes inside). One of the bad parts of it being on the end of my nose is that I can see them working and the smell of my own burning skin as they cauterize it was HORRIBLE. The doctor just thought it was just AK. Which is something you can just burn with liquid nitrogen and move on. So I was not too worried. I sported a bandage like Rudolph for a few days. It drew all kinds of questions from people, especially children. 

Koala Bear wanted to hold my hand so I could be Brave!

I eventually took it off because sweaty skin oils and Indian sun don't allow tape or bandages to stay on. The dermatologist told me to keep layers of "goop" Nerosporin on it because the pollution in Mumbai has been so bad he did not want it to be infected. So now, someone who doesn't take medicine unless absolutely necessary is taking ibuprofen, anti- virals so the shingles don't spread, and antibiotics! 

A week later I received a call at work asking me to come into the doctor's office and discuss my lab results.  That seemed ominous. But I wondered if it was just the doctor's practice. So I went the next day. As I sat in the waiting room full of other shoeless people packed into a small under lit room, the front desk woman hands me a paper and instructed me to give it to the doctor when I see him. I look at it and it is my lab results! 

These results go into great detail about the type of cancer, the tumors, and had microscope slides of the results.  Oh boy. So I found out I had cancer in a lobby of toe jam strangers from the receptionist...! Oi! Not sure if she just thought I don't understand medical terminology, or if maybe SHE doesn't undertake it...but there it was. 

I sent a photo of it to Lady Hiva (she had an event at school and did not join me because we were not worried) and we were both googling prognosis etc before I even saw the doctor. 

This doctor is good. He is American trained. But he was also humble enough to know when he was beyond his skillets. He asked when I was going home to the UK. He said that the procedure I need done is only available in UK, USA, AUS  and NZ. We had a good laugh about the fact that he was sure I was British. 

I left him and went back to the Consulate to discuss my options. I will continue the journey on the next blog. 

But lessons learned...wear sunscreen. And even if you do like it, don't do things that will kill you. This last few weeks I have thought a lot about the way I judge people who smoke when they know how bad it is. Or the people with diabetes that keep eating fast food and candy. Or people with gout that think pork is the only food they can eat. But here I am loving all the sun rays and now have cancer on my face. That's what I get for being judgy...

So here I am, not even forty and I can add cancer (and shingles) to the list of crazy things that have experienced!  Not something I thought would happen until much later in life.

Check your spots, people!