Many of you that follow HERE and THERE know that both Lady
Hiva and I have had brothers commit suicide in the past 3 years. I have written
about my own feelings on the blog a few times and cover the emotions that I
experienced with Trevor’s suicide in my memoir, WHITE LILIES IN AUTUMN. Over
the past few years since Trevor’s death and the last few months since Moana’s
death I have watched how family members and friends handle the situation. We
all handle it a bit differently.
I realized that I wanted to do something more, so I
volunteered to help with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Some family members and friends still struggle to talk about
suicide. I am unsure if that is due to embarrassment, anger, or they have their
own struggles they are not ready to face; however, being able to talk and think
through those emotions is exactly what needs to happen. To open up and allow
the wounds to heal.
Far too often when I tell people that my brother committed
suicide, they are struck with silence and don’t know what to say. I usually try
to help them see that I, too, don’t understand the situation so it is OK that
they don’t either. Sadly, the conversation about suicide is taboo for some
people. As if they think that not acknowledging there is a problem means it
will just disappear. But it doesn’t. When people are struggling, they need
help, they need to know that they are loved and there are ways to overcome.
Last month a good friend from my mission that I have stayed
in contact with went out to dinner with us. She is doing some amazing work
helping communities prevent problems youth face today—including drugs, teen pregnancy,
suicide, and depression. I was so impressed with all that she was doing and
knew that I too wanted to make a difference. In memory of Trevor and Moana. I
may not be able to bring either of them back to us, but I can help educate
others on how to help their family members.
If I could help families recognize the signs of depression
and /or suicide and know what to do if they were worried about someone they
love, it is worth all it.
Today I helped man a booth at a Youth Fair in D.C. for high
school students from Virginia and Maryland. We were able to cover issues that
youth face including bullying, depression, and suicide. I stood next to a huge
banner that blared the shocking reality that “Every 14 minutes in the United
States someone dies by suicide. That means every 15 minutes someone is left to
make sense of it.” Sobering.
I talked to parents, to teenagers, to community leaders. I
handed out flyers, asked questions, and told my personal story. The other
volunteers had lost family members to suicide too and it was special to talk
with them and their healing process. I was impressed with all the
organizations, donors and people that give of their time and talents to help
others. There are always amazing people everywhere.
As I said earlier, it felt good to be doing something to help;
it is too late for Trevor or Moana, but not too late for others. I feel the
more I help educate others and get the conversation started with them, the more
help can be extended to those that truly need it.
So I want to end this post with another part of the banner: “Suicide
can be prevented learn how you can help,
www.afsp.org”
Very proud of you, Dustin!
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