Never Let A Dustin Go To The Hardware Store For Pebbles During Quarantine

Never Let A Dustin Go To The Hardware Store For Pebbles During Quarantine

(A satire on the popular children's book "Never Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff)

Never let a Dustin go to the hardware store for railroad ties during stay-at-home quarantine. No, really! Never let a Dustin go to the hardware store for railroad ties. 

Because if you do he will put them in the back of your Mongoose and tell you that it is OK because he put down a tarp. When he has the railroad ties, he will then ask you to come shovel dirt to fill the holes he just created. So never send Dustin to the store for railroad ties. 

If you fill the holes that he created, he will then tell you he needs to go to the hardware store for pea pebbles. Never let a Dustin go to the hardware store for pebbles during quarantine. No really! Never let a Dustin go to the hardware store for pebbles/

Because he has been home too long and when he is looking for pebbles he will see the new plants.
He will ask for if you want some new plants for the garden. If you say yes, he will find the Wisteria and Jasmine that you have wanted for years and he will ask you if you want some.

If you want some plants he will ask you where you will plant it. You will then suggest we can build a trellis. Never suggest to build something while Dustin is in a hardware store during quarantine. He will decide to not just build a trellis, but buy wood to build a pergola. This time it will be loaded into your small car, Snowball.  So never suggest a Dustin to build a trellis.

 He will buy you the plants and leave you a message for you to thank him. Then surprise you with his announcement that he is building a pergola. You--even after 12 years of seeing him build things--will be unsure that it will look ok and not want him to build it.

 Never nod your head in semi-worried agreement to a small pergola. Dustin will mark out the area and start to dig four holes in your yard. If you finally give in, he will have you come out in the cold and dig the holes with him. So never nod in agreement to a pergola.

 Never leave a Dustin alone digging holes during quarantine. No really, never leave a Dustin alone digging holes during quarantine! Because he will realize that after all four holes are dug 2 feet deep--with your help--that he could dig two other holes and build a bigger pergola over the deck. So never leave Dustin alone digging holes during quarantine.

 Never agree to build a bigger pergola because once those holes are done, he will ask you to come out and stand in the fierce winter wind holding the pole level while he mixes cement and sets it.

She obviously does not care about the cold!

Never allow the posts for a large pergola to be set because if you do, you will have to come stand on top of a ladder and hold a heavy 2x6 board on the wall while Dustin screws it in. As you are doing it, he will try to hurry and cut his knuckle and spread blood all over the place. So never allow for the posts to be set.

If you allow the board to be screwed to the wall, he will have to join him in the cold freezing rain/snow to rip some boards. Never let him have you help him rip boards at night. Really, never let him have you help him. He will make you wear your mom's sunglasses even when it is dark to protect your eyes. Even worse, he will make you take a photo with them on!

 If you cut all the boards, he will ask you to stand on the ladders again to hang them. If he does that he will wear the sparkly fanny-pack your niece gave him as a joke to hold his tools. So, never agree to stand on his ladders to hang the boards.

 Never climb to the top of the ladder...ever. No really, never climb to the top of the ladder. He thinks he is Spiderman and doesn't worry about it and you will be watching from the kitchen window worried he is going to fall at any time.

 As if being on the ladder alone was not enough, he will ask you to climb up too! Never climb to the top of the ladder because he will climb up the other side and join you.

So, never allow a Dustin to go to the hardware store for railroad ties, flowers, or pebbles. You may end up digging 6 holes when you only needed two and go from wanting a trellis to getting a large pergola for your Wisteria to grow on.

 Dustin will wake up with bruises all over his body from the project!

Update:

The staining is now done too! I think it took longer to stain than it did to build! Haha.

In other news, Spring has arrived and it is BEAUTIFUL! Our flowers are starting to bloom and we can go out and enjoy the warmer weather...well warmer is relative. We had to cover the plants at night so they do not freeze. This crazy weather is 70 degrees one day and 20 the next. 

Helping mum study. It is either this or playing with Elsa and Anna doll houses the room while dad is on his business calls

Trying to switch up the experience...kind of limited options during quarantine

One of the trips that I went to the hardware store I went into Walmart...I felt like I had struck gold when I just happened to walk past this pallet that they had brought in from the truck!