September 27, 2013

The Day I Unknowingly MOONED the World!

Many of you have seen my Facebook post already about this, but it became apparent by all your comments it was blog fodder I just couldn’t pass up. Today I mooned the world!

One of Trevor’s habits he never seemed to grow out of was mooning people. He may be my brother, but this was an action I just never understood. He thought it was hilarious though. I am sure he would be rolling with laughter if I could call and tell him that I accidentally mooned people all day!

I put on a pair of pants at 0600H this morning and went about my day. When Lady and I arrived home and I was getting undressed for a shower at 2200H Lady said, with a big intake of breath (you know the kind you hear when something horrible happened like a mouse in the kitchen or a car coming at you too fast),  “You have a HUGE hole in her pants!”

Sure enough, when I looked there was a 7 inch slit from the top of my pocket to past the bottom on my left butt cheek. I have NO idea how or when it happened today. This isn’t just a small hole, this is a full on flapping-in-the-wind-let-in-the-fall-breeze rip! How did I not notice that?

Many of you have commented on my dilemma and I have answers and more questions…”Why did nobody tell you?” I have NO idea! They don’t know me well if they think I would be embarrassed about them telling me. Making a scene would have been comical and even more blog worthy. It makes it worse to think they were so embarrassed for me they dared not say!

Then to think that who actually saw? Was it already there when I had class with twenty other people whom I will work with for the next three years in Turkey? Or when I sat at a table working with my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss? (Yeah that high up—although he is so humble you would never know). Did I moon him too?! AYE-AYE-EYE! Or was it before we had a meeting with the top “think tank” advisor and professor for Turkish international policy. Talk about diplomatic relations—“Nice talk, let me show you my underwear!” haha

Or did someone see when I found a quiet corner to take a 20 minute nap at lunch because Lucky was up screaming until 0130hours last night. I must have looked like a hobo waking up disheveled sleeping on a bench with holey pants.

Other asked, “How did you not feel that?” That is a great question. I can only think of two excuses. 1- I literally am a furnace most days. I have two temperatures HOT and REALLY COLD (thanks to heat stroke and hypothermia experiences years ago—but those are another story for another day). Maybe I was so hot that I didn’t feel the fresh breeze. Or 2- maybe eating beans last night created extra bursts of “hot air” to counter the cold! Hmm…do you think that may have caused the hole??? If that is true I have true natural gas energy! LOL!!

I mooned all the old ladies in Michaels when I went with Lady to buy yarn and all the shoppers in Safeway too. Hopefully they were too distracted by the cute baby I was holding or the BRIGHT pink shoes I wore to see my underwear. (good thing my underwear wasn't bright pink too!)
My pink shoes that are AMAZING!

Finally, hopefully it was too dark to see the hole at a meeting with some friends of our friends tonight. Can you imagine introducing me to your friends and after me leaving having to explain that I “usually don’t dress like that…” oh boy!

So, that is the saga of the day. It invites plenty of laughs for sure! Just be thankful I didn’t moon you too!

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